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lukehemmign:

whitebeltwriter:

dual-destininies:

derples:

dual-destininies:

tf2-fandomstuck:

tiniestshorts:

Bread knife

The french have grown more powerful. 

Hold it!

Look more closely at these photographs, Your Honor.

Notice anything strange about the bread?

I didn’t either. That’s because…

…no cuts were made there in the first place!

The witness forged the photographs to make it look like they had an actual bread knife, when they actually did not!

How, you ask? Look to the second photo.

While it is quite obvious that the knife is penetrating the top half of the breadstick, I’m not sure about the bottom half.

Looks pretty flat, doesn’t it?

The angle of the photo makes it look like the knife is in the witness’s breadstick, whilst it is actually behind it. In addition, the cut was actually made after the first photograph and before the second. Continue to the third photograph.

It is also taken from a flat angle, as was the second photograph. I’m sure you’re finding something missing in this photograph as well, Your Honor. Where is the index finger’s fingertip?

This illustration explains it all.

While I am… ahem, not the best artist…

(Didn’t I go to art school?)

The index finger is hidden behind the loaf of bread. It is not wrapping around the loaf of bread. This is because…

The witness was making space to put the knife’s handle!

Objection

Are you really that dull, Wright? For a man who majored in art you should be able to recognize a sculpture when you see one.

as we can see from the photos provided, this is quite obviously plastic.

if you look at any photo of real bread it can’t attain that level of shininess, and even if it could.

If you’ll notice in this picture, the bread on the inside is quite shiny, as well.

Tell me, Wright, have you ever seen real bread gleam that much? Don’t answer that, I will.

Even in this high-resolution photograph with bread that thick, it obviously wouldn’t shine on the inside when it isn’t buttered.

And it isn’t too hard to find the item in question with a quick google search.

Oh, and if you will notice, their hand was covering the seam where the bread was taken apart in the first photo with a simple comparison of the pattern on the bread.

It appears your lawyering skills are in much need of some sharpening if you expect to cut me down with that weak objection.

Edgeworth, you’re asking yourself the wrong question. It’s not “is there bread like that…”

You should be asking “can there be bread like that?”

Sweet bread can be infused with sugar or a syrup, making the outsides shinier- and the insides sweeter. Take a look.

Furthermore. there are parts of the witness’s bread knife that don’t just match up with the novelty bread knives you have presented. Take another look.

Let me point out two things about the novelty knives: one, their markings, and two, the placement of the knife itself.

In the novelty knives, the marks are artificial-looking and repeated. That is because they are manufactured. In the witness’s photo, the marks are more natural and realistic- because they are, well, real!

Furthermore, the blades on the novelty knives are in the middle of the handle.

But… look back at the witness’s photo. The knife is to the left? Where is the problem, you ask? Look at this illustration.

Here we have the knife, a piece of bread, and a table. Let’s have a go.

I’m sure you see it now, Your Honor.

The bread knife cannot actually be used to cut bread efficiently! Even if it was tilted, it would be uncomfortable and unbalanced!

The defense has an explanation for this positioning.

The blade is to the left because the witness was holding it behind the piece of bread!

what the actual fuck tumblr

1 hour ago on July 24th, 2014 | J | 288,580 notes

ohawkguy:

the notebook problem: you see a notebook. you want to buy the notebook. but you know you have like TEN OTHER NOTEBOOKS. most which are STILL EMPTY. you don’t need to notebook. you’re probably not gonna use the notebook anyway. what’s the point? DONT BUY THE NOTEBOOK. you buy the notebook.

1 hour ago on July 24th, 2014 | J | 87,508 notes
22 hours ago on July 23rd, 2014 | J | 41,545 notes
22 hours ago on July 23rd, 2014 | J | 18,924 notes

counterpunches:

hetagarnet:

qichi:

linguisticsyall:

Where does your tongue stay when you’re not speaking? If you’re an English-speaker, it’s behind the top front teeth. If you’re a Russian-speaker, it’s on the bottom of your mouth, lying flat.

#what #for real

I JUST FREAKING CONSCIOUSLY CHECKED AND TRIED TO MAKE IT LAY FLAT BUT NO, IT’S SERIOUSLY AT THE TOP OF MY MOUTH. I DON’T LIKE THIS

 

22 hours ago on July 23rd, 2014 | J | 86,032 notes

cheese3d:

i think i can accurately say that i can crush a man’s head with my thighs

4 days ago on July 19th, 2014 | J | 247,379 notes
4 days ago on July 19th, 2014 | J | 148,998 notes
4 days ago on July 19th, 2014 | J | 258,362 notes
filmcrack:


The famous depiction of galloping horses by using coconut shells came about from the purely practical reason that the production simply couldn’t afford real horses.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
via IMDb

filmcrack:

The famous depiction of galloping horses by using coconut shells came about from the purely practical reason that the production simply couldn’t afford real horses.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)

via IMDb

4 days ago on July 19th, 2014 | J | 117,888 notes

paulsrockinpagoda:

presidentobarna:

leaf-jelly:

131-di:

illogicalhumanoid:

brickiestsurgeon:

131-di:

the contrabass saxophone is such an absurd instrument

image

talk dirty to me

Have ya’ll seen the double contrabass flute before???

reblogging my own post because what in the fuck

image

i give you the contrabass tuba. Why is it real. I dont know.

Know what’s even better?

HYPERBASS FLUTE

image

my counter:

image

piccolo trombone 

4 days ago on July 19th, 2014 | J | 349,308 notes
4 days ago on July 19th, 2014 | J | 214,998 notes

skygurl68:

I WASNT GOING TO REBLOG THIS BUT THE LAST ONE

5 days ago on July 19th, 2014 | J | 247,320 notes
chromesthetic:

I’m not like a regular mom. I’m a cool mom. 

chromesthetic:

I’m not like a regular mom. I’m a cool mom. 

5 days ago on July 19th, 2014 | J | 113,357 notes
525,746 plays

5 days ago on July 19th, 2014 | J | 77,806 notes

tateyarna-ayano:

finDING GOOD QUALITY STUFF FOR SUPER CHEA P

image

5 days ago on July 19th, 2014 | J | 222,727 notes